Name: 2-Ingredient Tallow Mayonnaise
Prep time: 20 min
Total time: 20 min
Yield: 24
Ingredients: 1 cup = 240 ml melted tallow at room temperature; 3—4 very fresh, cold egg yolks; unrefined sea salt to taste

Jump to Recipe

Step right up to the wild side of mayo, where simplicity reigns, and the ingredients list is delightfully short. Say hello to 2-Ingredient Tallow Mayonnaise, the daring duo of tallow and egg yolks that’s itching to join your meaty feasts. It’s a simple mix with massive potential, all set for you to whip into a velvety delight that’s begging for a dash of your personal flair.

Hold on to your taste buds because this ride’s just getting started. As we dig deeper into this post, you’ll hit the jackpot with a bunch of zesty tips to spruce up this basic but brilliant concoction. Picture my Tallow Mayonnaise as the condiment world’s poker-faced jokester—it might seem straightforward at first, but wait until you get to the ‘Tips for Variations’ section. That’s where you’ll find the secret moves to transform this carnivore’s dream from plain to super in a flash.

FAQ

Step right up to the greatest show in the kitchen—the Tallow Mayonnaise FAQ Circus! Prepare for a rollicking ride through the most burning questions that keep you up at night, all answered with a wink and a nod. So buckle up, buttercup (or, in this case: tallowcup)—I’m about to tickle your funny bone and satisfy your culinary curiosities with a tongue-in-cheek twist that’s as delightful as a spoonful of my infamous mayo!

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To see if it could contribute to a better mayo than this! But seriously, folks, if you’re wondering why my Tallow Mayonnaise is crossing new culinary roads with just tallow and egg yolks, it’s because simplicity is the unsung hero of the kitchen. And my mayo? It’s the cape-wearing, flavor-saving hero your carnivore diet deserves.

What if my tallow mayo could talk; what would it say?

“Spread the love, but please, for the love of taste, don’t forget to check out the seasoning tips later in this post!”

Is this mayo recipe keto-friendly, or will it make my diet cry?

If your diet could shed tears, they’d be tears of joy! This Tallow Mayonnaise is as keto-friendly as it gets—just make sure to keep it locked away from any carb-filled culprits.

How do I explain to my vegan friend that I’ve made mayo without any plants?

Gently, very gently. Start by highlighting the artistic minimalism of the recipe, where each element is purposefully chosen to create a harmonious blend of flavors, then swiftly change the subject to something less controversial—like the calming effect of listening to classical music, a universal pleasure that soothes the soul and transcends all boundaries.

If this mayo were a movie character, who would it be?

Think of it as the James Bond of condiments—smooth, versatile, and always ready for a mission to elevate your meal. Just remember, this Bond likes to dress up with a few extra seasonings, which I’ll cover in just a bit.

Will this mayo make my other condiments jealous?

Absolutely. Once your Sugar-Free Ketchup hears about the new spread in town, it’ll be seeing red with envy. But not to worry—there’s room in the fridge for all, especially when you’ve got a mayo that plays well with others, thanks to the upcoming seasoning suggestions.

Will this mayo outlast my last relationship?

With a shelf-life of a week in the fridge, it stands a chance—especially if your love life has more twists than a pretzel factory. But let’s be real, given how delicious this Tallow Mayonnaise is, the odds of it actually making it through the week are slimmer than a celery stick at a dip party.

Can I swap tallow for unicorn fat (or other fat) for a magical twist?

While I can’t endorse mythical creature cuisine, bacon fat is a very real and smoky alternative. It’s like giving your mayo a little leather jacket and a motorcycle—it’s suddenly the coolest spread in town. Also, good old butter is fabulous, so be sure to check out my Butter Mayonnaise recipe.

What if my mayo is as runny as a gossip?

Well, if your mayo is running off at the mouth, I’ve got the secret to silence it. My recipe starts with a trio of cold egg yolks to set the stage for a thick and creamy spread. But if your mayo still has the consistency of loose lips, don’t fret! Add a fourth cold yolk to tighten its lips and thicken the mix. In the rare event of a mayo meltdown, a stint in the fridge will firm it right up—because even the juiciest gossip can’t withstand the cold shoulder.

Dairy allergies and mayo—will they get along?

They’ll be like two peas in separate pods! Since there’s no dairy in sight, you can slather with impunity.

How do I store this culinary masterpiece?

Your mayo prefers a chill life, much like a yeti. Pop it in an airtight container, slide it into the fridge, and it’ll be cooler than a polar bear’s toenails. Make sure to take it to room temperature for at least 30 minutes before using it to let it soften because, like a grumpy cat on a sunny windowsill, it needs a little time to thaw out its attitude.

My mayo’s as bland as elevator music—what do I do?

Fear not, flavor-seeker! The ‘Tips for Variations’ section is coming up faster than a speeding bullet, armed with all the zesty secrets to elevate your mayo from mundane to mind-blowing.

Blender, whisk, or magic wand—what’s the best tool for the job?

If you have a magic wand, by all means, give it a wave! Otherwise, an immersion blender will do nicely, and for those feeling extra witchy, a whisk and a cauldron (I mean, bowl) will conjure up some creamy magic. Just be ready to put those biceps to work!

Step-by-Step Instructions on How to Prepare Your Tallow Mayonnaise

Gear up for a culinary adventure as I guide you through the seamless steps to create a velvety Tallow Mayonnaise. With an immersion blender in hand, we’ll transform simple ingredients into a rich, flavorful condiment. Ready, set, blend!

First, grab 1 cup (240 ml) of tallow and melt it slowly down like you’re defrosting a snowman. Let that liquid sunshine cool to room temp because nobody likes a hot-headed mayo.

Next, add 3 cold egg yolks. Yep, cold yolks right from the fridge. That will help your mayo set.

Now, unleash your immersion blender! Give it a whirl, a twirl, and watch as the concoction thickens like a plot in a detective novel.

But what if your mayo is as thin as my patience on a Monday morning? Fear not! Toss in another cold egg yolk and blend away. If you want to jazz up your concoction, now it’s time to get spicy—or herby, or garlicky. Peek at the ‘Tips for Variations’ section for inspiration to make your mayo the belle of the ball!

Finally, serve up your Tallow Mayonnaise alongside a dish that mooed, clucked, or oinked. It’s so thick, rich, and cozy; it’s practically a spreadable hug.

So yum, it’ll make your taste buds do the tango!

How I Came Up with This Carnivore Mayonnaise Recipe

It was a typical Thursday, or so it seemed, and the ghost of Sunday’s blog post deadline was haunting me. I hadn’t even a whiff of an idea for my weekly culinary showcase. So, there I was, flipping through my well-thumbed list of potential recipes, when inspiration struck like a lightning bolt in a pickle jar. Why not create a recipe for an ingredient itself? And thus, the concept of animal-based mayonnaise was born.

I’d already taken my readers on a buttery mayonnaise journey, but this time, dairy was off the guest list. With a fresh batch of tallow on hand, I pondered, “Could this be the muse for my next creamy creation?” The gears turned, and I figured since butter had been a hit, tallow should be a home run—after all, they’re both fats, just with different hats.

With gusto, I started my kitchen experiment, introducing egg yolks one by one to my melted tallow, blending each into the mix with an immersion blender that might as well have been a magic wand.

By the third yolk, the mayonnaise was taking shape, donning a hue as vibrant as a morning sunrise but still a tad too fluid for my liking. A fourth yolk was the charm, and suddenly, I had a mayonnaise so thick it could have its own detective show.

The texture was nothing short of a creamy reverie, smooth as a jazz tune. The taste? Delightfully mellow and so satisfying that I skipped the seasoning altogether, basking in the pure joy of my creation.

I’d seen my share of animal-based mayonnaise attempts online, tangled in complexity like headphone cords in a pocket. But here I was, with a recipe as straightforward as a bee’s flight path and just as sweet—a triumph I’m thrilled to share, making gourmet mayonnaise accessible to chefs of all stripes!

Here’s the recipe for you to enjoy:

2-Ingredient Tallow Mayonnaise

Yield: 24 tablespoons

Prep Time: 20 minutes

Total Time: 20 minutes

Ingredients

1 cup = 240 ml melted tallow at room temperature
3—4 very fresh, cold egg yolks
unrefined sea salt to taste

Instructions

Place the tallow in an immersion blender jar.
Add three egg yolks to start.
Blend until the mixture begins to thicken.
If the mayonnaise is too runny, add the fourth egg yolk and blend again to achieve the desired thickness.
Season to taste, if desired. (For seasoning ideas, refer to the 'Tips for Variations' section.)

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Nutrition information	In total	Per tablespoon (makes 24 tablespoons)
Protein	12.5 g	0.5 g
Fat	252.1 g	10.5 g
Net carbs	0.1 g	trace

Tips for Variations

Here are some tips for variations on your 2-Ingredient Tallow Mayonnaise to keep your taste buds dancing:

Sea Salt Enhancement: Enhance your Tallow Mayonnaise with a pinch of pure, unrefined sea salt to bring out its natural flavors and add a trace of minerals. Adjust to taste, ensuring a delicate balance.
Traditional Twist: Add 2 teaspoons raw apple cider vinegar, 1 teaspoon unsweetened Dijon mustard, and a pinch of ground white pepper to your mayonnaise for a traditional tangy flavor.
Garlic Glee: For a bold aioli twist, add minced garlic or garlic powder to taste. It’s perfect for (keto/carnivore) garlic bread spread or as a robust dip.
Herb Haven: Fresh or dried herbs like dill, chives, basil, or oregano can bring a refreshing green note to your mayo. Chop them finely and stir in for a garden-fresh flavor. For even smoother mayo, you can add them to your tallow before whirling away with your immersion blender.
Spice It Up: For a bit of heat, consider adding cayenne pepper, Chipotle, or a dash of your favorite sugar-free hot sauce. It’ll give your mayo a kick that’s perfect for grilled meats.
Citrus Zing: A squeeze of lemon or lime juice can brighten up your mayo, making it a zesty complement to fish and seafood dishes. Add 1 teaspoon freshly grated peel from organic lemon for an elegant, zesty twist.
Smoky Sensation: Add a touch of smoked paprika or all-natural liquid smoke for a smoky flavor that pairs wonderfully with barbecue.
Sweet Escape: A hint of stevia or monk fruit can offer a sweet counterbalance to the rich mayo, ideal for balancing out vinaigrettes or slaws—or to be used as a sweet treat.
Anchovy Adventure: Finely chopped anchovies or a bit of anchovy paste can infuse your mayo with umami depth, excellent for Caesar dressings.
Caper Charm: If you tolerate plants as condiments, chopped capers bring a briny pop that’s especially delicious in keto and carnivore sandwich spreads or as a complement to fish.
Curry Quest: Stir in some curry powder for an exotic twist that can transform simple keto wraps and salads into something special.

For those following a strict carnivore diet, remember that while these variations can add excitement to your meals, it’s important to choose additives that align with your dietary guidelines. Pure, unrefined sea salt is an excellent choice for adding flavor without introducing plant-based ingredients, keeping your Tallow Mayonnaise carnivore-friendly. Always check the purity of your salt to ensure it fits within the strict parameters of your diet.

General Prattling

This week has been a whirlwind of culinary adventures and entrepreneurial spirit. It all started with an inspiring encounter with a South African couple who run a charming small sausage company. I had the pleasure of consulting with them on my upcoming meat product. Our conversations were nothing short of fascinating, brimming with cultural exchange and seasoned with invaluable advice that only true artisans of their craft could provide.

This week also marks a personal milestone that’s particularly close to my heart—it’s my first ‘carniversary.’ That’s right, an entire year has passed without a single vegetable making its way onto my plate. Sure, I’ve indulged in a bit of coffee here and there, and the occasional dark chocolate has crossed my path, but veggies? Not a trace. And the verdict after twelve veggie-free months? I’m not just surviving; I’m thriving.

Remarkably, I feel better than I have in years. My stomach has never been more content, and my digestive system is operating smoothly, like a well-oiled machine. My energy levels have soared, and my mental clarity is sharper than ever—my brain is firing on all cylinders, like greased lightning. With such positive outcomes, my journey into the veggie-less vista will continue. Here’s to another year of meaty endeavors and feeling fantastic!

The rest of the week was a blur of preparation for a milestone event I’ve been dreaming of: the product launch for my “Ellin keittiö” (Elli’s kitchen) brand. It’s a remarkable step that’s been simmering in my plans for ages, and now it’s finally coming to a boil.

The meticulous process of designing and preparing the labels, lovingly attaching them to the pouches, packing, and sealing the products has been a labor of love. With the launch looming next week, my entire house has transformed into a dynamic studio, with each room buzzing with activity as I meticulously craft the product descriptions and set the stage for the product photoshoots.

It’s all hands on deck, but the thrill of creation makes every moment worthwhile. And the highlight? The irresistible delicacies I’m preparing to showcase during the launch. These creations are not just food and drinks; they’re a visual feast that will show people the scrumptious possibilities that await them with my products.

And, let me share a little secret: one of the products I’m unveiling is, without a shadow of a doubt, the best in its class on the market. I’m so confident in its quality that I’m offering a money-back guarantee. It’s my promise to my customers that “Ellin keittiö” is synonymous with excellence. Stay tuned for the grand reveal!

FAQ